Telling it like it is...

From the Wittenburg Door Insider Newsletter...Ole Anthony responds to Pat Robertson.

READER MAIL...

Over the years, we've gotten some interesting mail – but never, never anything as "interesting" as the recent missive we got from our first ever Lifetime Loser, The Right Reverend Pat Robertson! (Door #192) It seems that after thirty-some-odd years of tweaking the old goat's beard, we finally got to him with our comments in The New York Times a couple of weeks ago. Here's the gist of Pat's complaint and our sainted publisher's response:

"Dear Ole:

"... I remember back to 1973 ... you entertained the rather quixotic notion that Doubleday Broadcasting was going to give you Channel 39 in Dallas.

"Instead, the management of Doubleday very wisely chose to give the station to The Christian Broadcasting Network ... It would seem from ongoing comments by you in the press that you have never forgiven us for receiving that station ...

"I recently read a New York Times story which quoted you as saying that 'there wouldn't be Pat's shake at GNC stores if he couldn't promote it on air ... Robertson advertised his shake on The 700 Club, over the donor-paid air times' ... This statement by you is absolutely false. At no time ever did I advertise any nutritional product in which I had a personal interest over donor-supported air ... never was there one mention by us of any product of which I had a financial interest.

"Ole, I don't know how old you are now, but ... you need to get rid of the bitterness which is causing you to put out falsehoods and slander."
Read Pat's entire letter

And here's Ole's response...

Dear Pat:

Thanks for your sweet note. It's good to hear from you again after all these years. I've thought of you often during:

* The whole Pat's Shake/2,000 pound leg press thing
* The whole tsunami off the U.S. coast thing
* The whole "take out" of the Venezuelan president thing
* The whole Satan in Dover thing
* The whole "blood diamonds" thing in Africa
* The whole thoroughbred horse racing thing
* The whole misuse of the charitable supplies airplane thing
* The whole buddy-buddy with the blood-thirsty African dictator thing
* The whole blaming Katrina thing
* The whole ... well, you get the picture.

You've been on my mind a lot in recent years. I'm genuinely flattered that a multi-millionaire who lives a lifestyle that would shame the Borgias would still remember a nobody like me. And with the voices of Christians and non-Christians alike denouncing your particular brand of self-serving "theology" reaching an international, virtually unanimous crescendo, I'm touched that something I'd say would still catch your eye.

I'm equally impressed by your ability to split hairs down to the point of virtual molecular indivisibility, completely obfuscating the facts and allowing you to see yourself as innocent – not unlike your biblical role models, the Pharisees.

True, you only used donor-paid airtime to promote (repeatedly) the miraculous, health and strength – giving properties of your home made "protein shake" concoction. But... do you actually think the marketing folks at GNC stores would have agreed to nationally distribute a product called "Bob's Shake"? Can you actually say with a straight face that GNC shoppers, when confronted with an end-aisle display of "Pat's Shake" – complete with a picture of your grinning mug – didn't think, "Hey, I saw that on the 700 Club! I trust good ole Pat! I'll try that!" Do you really think that?

Some would say that this is just another in the litany of outrageous statements you've uttered over the years that have only served to embarrass the Church. Personally, I think this just proves that – despite the hundreds of personal pleas, articles, editorials and columns by mainstream and Christian publications alike, calling on you to please, in the name of God, just shut up – you're still just a regular guy beneath all those trappings of wealth.

Any time you need a letter of reference, feel free to call on me, Pat.

P.S. Thank you again for reminding me about that TV station incident. Over the past 30 years or so, like so many others, I've come to realize that television station (and then television network) ownership is the easiest and best way for a sincere Christian to abandon his or her original good intentions and become a money-flogging, heresy-spouting televangelist – more concerned with fund-raising than Kingdom Building. I see those very same tendencies in myself every day and I know without a shadow of a doubt that I would have ended up trying to do exactly the same thing you've done so well. We're all weak that way. God bless you for delivering me from that particular sin ... out of all of the many sins to which this weak flesh is heir.

Go ahead and say what you think, Ole. Don't hold back.

Ha!

Eric

Mikey's Thots...

(These are the main reason why I get this free e-mail!)

Eric


MIKEY'S THOTS FOR THE DAY
January-June 2006

~ A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school clothes.
~ A company held a contest for kids with the theme: "The nicest thing My Father Ever Did For Me." One kid answered "He married my mother."
~ A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!"
~ A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
~ A laugh is a smile that bursts.
~ A mother can touch a whole generation just by loving her own child well.
~ A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
~ A prayer before you eat may be a reflection on the food.
~ All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
~ Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
~ Bob to X-ray technician after swallowing some money: "Do you see any change in me?"
~ Can girls go on a BOYcott?
~ Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
~ Can't sleep? Try counting your blessings.
~ Character is what you are. Reputation is what people think you are.
~ Children are natural mimics - they act like us in spite of all our attempts to teach them good manners.
~ Christians are like tea; their strength is drawn out by hot water.
~ Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
~ DIAPER spelled backward is REPAID. Think about it...
~ Do not believe in miracles...rely on them.
~ Don't point a finger; hold out a hand.
~ Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
~ Everyone says I have ADD but they just don't under...is that a chicken?
~ Gas prices are so high that when a woman pulled into a gas station and asked for 2 dollars worth, the attendant dabbed some behind her ears.
~ Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
~ Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
~ How come it takes a properly prepared, primed surface for paint to stick to a wall, but if a drop lands on the floor, it's there for life?
~ How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?
~ I figured out why they call our language the "Mother Tongue." Fathers never get a chance to use much of it.
~ I started early teaching my kids the value of a dollar. From then on, they demanded their allowances in gold.
~ I went to the bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
~ If a minister runs out of bread during communion, is he having an out-of-the-Body experience?
~ If evolution is true, why do mothers still only have one pair of hands?
~ If mother always knows best, what happens when two mothers disagree?
~ If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they stick Teflon to the pan?
~ If only I could be respected without having to be respectable.
~ If only you used your powers for good instead of evil.
~ If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made of?
~ If psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they still working?
~ If the going gets easy, you may be going downhill.
~ If the professor on "Gilligan's Island" can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
~ If the singular of GEESE is GOOSE, shouldn't a Portuguese person be called a Portugoose?
~ If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?
~ If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?
~ If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
~ If we quit voting, will they all go away?
~ If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
~ If you can laugh at it, then you can live with it.
~ If you can lead it to water and force it drink, it isn't a horse.
~ If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts.
~ If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos, then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.
~ If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
~ If you don't care where you're going, any road will get you there.
~ If you don't know where you're going, you're never lost.
~ If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?
~ If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
~ If you have 23 odds and ends on a table, and 22 of them fall off, what do you have left? An odd or an end?
~ If you must cry over spilled milk then please try to condense it.
~ If you really want to do something, you'll find a way; if you don't, you'll find an excuse.
~ If you run out of sick days, call in dead.
~ If you think about it, Adam had more trouble than any of the rest of us buying his Father a gift for Father's Day. I mean, what do you get somebody who's Everything?
~ If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it, what would happen?
~ If you want your dreams to come true, don't oversleep.
~ I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.
~ I'm out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?
~ I'm so poor, I can't even pay attention!
~ I'm taking Lamaze classes. I'm not having a baby; I'm just having trouble breathing.
~ In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
~ Income Tax: Capital punishment.
~ IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
~ Is that a mirage I see, or are my eyes deceiving me?
~ It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
~ It is bad to suppress laughter; it goes back down and spreads to your hips.
~ It is preferential to refrain from the utilization of grandiose verbiage in the circumstance that your intellectualization can be expressed using comparatively simplistic lexicological entities.
~ It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
~ It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown, and fewer still to ignore
someone completely.
~ It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
~ It's a small world. So you gotta use your elbows a lot.
~ It's bad luck to be superstitious.
~ It's been Monday all week.
~ It's good to have self-confidence. It's just nice to have a reason for it.
~ It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
~ It's not an empty nest until they get their stuff out of the attic.
~ It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end.
~ Just because you're smart does not mean that the other guy is stupid.
~ Keep the faith...but not from others.
~ Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them
all yourself.
~ Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like.
~ Light bulb's love declaration: I love you a whole watt!
~ Love is like a roller coaster: When it's good you don't want to get off; and when it isn't, you can't wait to throw up.
~ Make friends before you need them.
~ Middle age develops increased patience...it promotes significant wait gain.
~ Minds are like parachutes - they function only when open.
~ My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.
~ My life has a superb cast, but I can't figure out the plot.
~ My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.
~ My mom was a child of the 60's, but was a goody two shoes. She has antacid flashbacks.
~ My reality check bounced.
~ My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
~ Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
~ New year's resolutions: They go in one year and out the other
~ On your birthday, send a thank you card to your mom.
~ One time my kids wanted to surprise me with a good breakfast in bed on Father's Day. They put a cot in the kitchen.
~ Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.
~ Say what you will about healthy eating and all, but I've always found it awfully difficult to explain to my son (who's 6'4" to my 6' in height), why junk food is bad for you.
~ Skunks celebrate Valentine's Day because they are very scent-imental!
~ Stop global whining.
~ The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
~ The doctor called Mrs. Johnson saying, "Mrs. Johnson, your check came back." Mrs. Johnson answered, "So did my arthritis!"
~ The doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months.
~ The geek shall inherit the earth.
~ The grass may be greener on the other side, but that's because there is a lot more manure.
~ The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
~ The most difficult light bulb to replace burns out first and most frequently.
~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
~ The pigs give boxes of candies to their girlfriends on Valenswine's Day!
~ The Valentine's gift of the farmer to his wife - Hog and kisses!
~ The Valentine's gift of the French chef to his wife - Hug and a Quiche!
~ There are more collect calls on Father's Day than any other day of the year.
~ There is more to life than increasing its speed.
~ There is no problem a good miracle can't solve.
~ We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads. So I'm not fat, I'm just really intelligent and my head couldn't hold any more so it started filling up the rest of me.
~ We child-proofed our home 3 years ago but they're still getting in
~ What do you get the man who has everything? Penicillin.
~ What was the best thing before sliced bread?
~ When people complain that they don't get what they deserve, they don't know how fortunate they are.
~ Where I go, there's "I Am"
~ Where there is no wonder there is no worship.
~ Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?
~ Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
~ You can give without loving but you cannot love without giving
~ Your child needs your love the most when they deserve it the least.
~ Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God's grace. And your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God's grace.

today'sTHOT============================

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Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com

Top 40 Reasons to like Star Trek!

From Star Trek.com

In no particular order, here are the Top 40 Reasons Why We Love Star Trek:

1. Phasers. They shoot, they score! And they can heat rocks.
2. Tricorders. Because they can detect anything a plot requires.
3. The transporter. For when you want to get away.
4. The original U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701. (No bloody A, B, C, D, E or NX!)
5. Triskelion. Because humans are just damned good entertainment value.
6. Trelane. Auditions for the role of Q start here.
7. Hyposprays. Much better than hypersprays.
8. Kirk. Because he can beat up any captain in Starfleet. And most aliens. Don't leave home without him.
9. Spock. Because he defies logic.
10. McCoy. Immortal lines for an immortal character. Alas, he's dead Jim.
11. Uhura. The real lady in red.
12. Chekov. Because Khan remembered him.
13. Sulu. Because of his half-naked sword time.
14. Scotty. He is smart. He makes things go.
15. Captain Pike. Still rockin' it on Talos IV.
16. The Talosians. It seems it all went to their heads.
17. All those beautiful guest stars. In soft focus, of course.
18. The Passion of the Kirk. Inspiration through the ages.
19. Those short, short skirts. Those skimpy outfits! When will designers incorporate these fashions for real?
20. Mudd's women. A great threesome.
21. Klingons. They weren't really bad, just written that way.
22. Romulans. Sometimes a straight bowl cut says it all.
23. Tranya. Because things go better with it.
24. Balok. You know, the one that gave you nightmares.
25. The Gorn. Once again, Kirk was smarter. But then again, the Gorn was reptilian. Probably too hot for him out there at Vasquez Rocks.
26. Kirk vs. Computers. The original computer hacker.
27. Edith Keeler.The Sergeant Sarah Brown of Star Trek. (If they ever do a Star Trek musical.)
28. Tribbles. Because they taste like chicken.
29. Fizzbin. A perfect game for any day. Except Tuesdays.
30. Redjac. What you get when you mix Jack Daniels and Redrum.
31. Gary Seven's "exceiver." We don't know what it does, but we hear it's now available in Japan.
32. The Wild Wild West. No, not the other '60s TV show. We're talkin' the fake West, with the OK Corral and Chekov gettin' all shot up.
33. Spock's goatee. You have to ask?
34. The Mugato. Because it's fun to pronounce.
35. Dr. M'Benga slapping Spock. Let's face it, haven't we all wanted to at some point?
36. Kirk's stunt double. Because of the uh, close resemblance.
37. Spock with a heater. 'Nuff said.
38. Tongo Rad. To this day, the coolest character name ever devised for a TV show.
39. Hippie Jam. Who knew Spock could have played with the Grateful Dead?
40. Spock's Brain. Best episode ever? O.K. Chief, would you believe worst episode ever?

Oh yeah...I'm such a ST Geek!

Eric

Not To Be Outdone By Her Brother...

...I took my daughter for her first plane ride with me, just me! We left Redding and flew to Montague about 30 minutes flying time north. Here's a few pics...







She had a good time. When we got to Montague, we sat on the bench outside the FBO and ate Fiery Hot Cheetos and drank bottled water. It was just us, Father and Daughter. It was a good time. We didn't talk much, just enjoyed each others company. She is a daddy's girl at times and will just walk up and give me a hug and say, "I love you, Daddy!" Man...that just melts the old heart!

Eric

Pearls Before Swine...

...is probably one of the funniest comics out there today.

Here's todays...seemed appropriate!

http://www.unitedmedia.com/comics/pearls/archive/pearls-20060616.html

Eric

Sled Driver

Brian Shul, Pilot, and Walt Watson, RSO, were in Redding tonight to give a 2 hour talk on flying and "living the dream" with the SR-71. What a great night! Shul is a great speaker as well as a great author. He wrote Sled Driver with his RSO Walt. I'm sure most of you have read it (you haven't??? And you call yourself a pilot!! )

You could really tell both guys loved flying the SR-71 and Brian has taken some wonderful pictures over the years which he's put to music in a couple of videos and a great slide presentation. This was no "death by PowerPoint" presentation.

He told stories out of school on Walt, the plane and some of the missions (without going into detail), like doing figure 8's over North Korea, letting off sonic booms every 12 minutes at the request of Ronald Reagan. Apparently the US wasn't invited to a little tete-a-tete between N. Korea, China and Russia. Shul says serving under Reagan as his Commander in Chief was one of the highlights of his career. Walt told of sonic booming Fidel Castro one night.

Brian did tell the whole, true story of the L.A. Center "Ground speed check" by the Cessna, the light twin, the F18 and then "Aspen 3-0....ground speed check please..."

Great evening. If you ever get the chance to hear these guys speak, do so. They call their presentation, "Spy Pilot Chronicles - The Blackbird Remembered". Check it out at http://www.SledDriver.com

I got two pictures, two of three he's printed outside of the book, signed by both Brian and Walt. One's going to my dad, framed, as he put in 30 years at Lockheed.

Eric

Just When I Thougt It Was Safe to Buy Beer

The SBC (Southern Baptists...not the phone company) goes and set's Free Will back about 100 years...

The Southern Baptist Resolution on Alcohol:

The messengers easily passed a resolution today that urges complete abstinence from alcoholic beverages.

WHEREAS, Years of research confirm biblical warnings that alcohol use leads to physical, mental, and emotional damage (e.g. Proverbs 23:29-35); and

WHEREAS, Alcohol use has led to countless injuries and deaths on our nation’s highways; and

WHEREAS, The breakup of families and homes can be directly and indirectly attributed to alcohol use by one or more members of a family;

And
WHEREAS, The use of alcohol as a recreational beverage has been shown to lead individuals down a path of addiction to alcohol and toward the use of other kinds of drugs, both legal and illegal; and

WHEREAS, There are some religious leaders who are now advocating the consumption of alcoholic beverages based on a misinterpretation of the doctrine of “our freedom in Christ”; now, therefore, be it

RESOLVED, That the messengers to the Southern Baptist Convention meeting in Greensboro, North Carolina, June 13-14, 2006, express our total opposition to the manufacturing, advertising, distributing, and consuming of alcoholic beverages; and be it further

RESOLVED, That we urge Southern Baptists to take an active role in supporting legislation that is intended to curb alcohol use in our communities and nation; and be it further

RESOLVED, That we urge Southern Baptist to be actively involved in educating students and adults concerning the destructive nature of alcoholic beverages; and be it finally

RESOLVED, That we commend organizations and ministries that treat alcohol-related problems from a biblical perspective and promote abstinence and encourage local churches to begin and/or support such biblically-based ministries.

Now I'm not a SBC'er (used to be a Conservative Baptist and once signed a piece of paper saying I wouldn't smoke, drink or chew or go with girls who do!), but, I do think they are a little off base. I can understand their logic but moderation is the key here.

Several years back, The Wittenburg Door did an "Alcohol Issue". Go to their website (linked on the sidebar) and find a back issue. It's one of the most comprehensive treatise on alcohol and the Christian I have ever seen. It's called, "10 Reasons to Teach Abstinence from Alcohol" and "10 Reasons Not to Teach Abstinence from Alcohol".

Fair and balanced.

Eric

Why I Don't Ever Want To Be Single Again!

Life as a Guy

Eric

"Animals are people too, ya know!" - Radar O'Reilly

Riiiight.

As one bumper sticker says: "I didn't claw my way to the top of the food chain to eat vegetables!"

Saw a sticker on a car in the Costco parking lot today that is probably the most inane one I've seen regarding animal rights. It said, "Animals are just little people in fur coats."

Huh?

Whut?

What a freakin' idiot. Come on. I mean...come on! I truly don't think they truly think that but...they were from Oregon and they had other "animal friendly" stickers on their car. I could be wrong.

Look...I was told my God (It's in the Bible...look it up!) to have dominion over all the animals. To go out and rule over them. To eat them. To cut them up into bit-sized pieces and offer them as sacrifices to God as an atonement for my sins (OT stuff here). And then who got to eat of this burnt meat stuff? Why...the priests, that's who. That's right boys and girls, barbeque (or BBQ for those of you in the South who have never seen it spelled out) originate with the Hebrew Priesthood at the order of God hisself!

I thank Rush Limbaugh for voicing it so well. "It's a sign of a loving God that animals are stupid." "Show me the hospitals and freeways built by the dolphins?" I'll throw in my cousin Ricky who, in response to my former brother-in-law's lame question, "Does the horse mind if I ride it?", said this...

"It's a horse."

(This is the same former brother-in-law who was a die-hard Limbaugh fan!)

There was a gal who worked the customer service counter at KaiserAir at the Oakland Int'l Airport. I used to fly in there 5 nights a week for about 3 years and got to chatting with her and the others behind the counter. One night we were talking about BBQ and she said she was a vegetarian. I asked why? She said because she likes animals. I said I like animals too, to which she smiled in appreciation. Until I added, "I like them baked, broiled, barbequed and fried!" To which she responded with a sneer, a huff and a walk-off to the back office until I left.

Now, I have no problem with people liking animals more than people. The older I get, the more I like my dogs than some people. And I don't mind people standing up for animals that are abused, hurt and mistreated by other humans. After all, God also told me to be a steward of this earth He gave me to live in. (That's also in the Bible...you can look it up as well.) But I will draw the line when it comes to lame-brained statements like the one from Ms. Newkirk of PETA who said, "When it comes to feelings of pain; a rat is a pig is a dog is a boy."

What Ms. Newkirk meant (as she later explained) was that it was the "feelings" part, not the feeling part. In other words, yes, dogs, rats, pigs and boys "feel" pain. It is part and parcel of having nerve endings. But she goes onto explain that animals "feel" as humans "feel"...with "feelings...whoa, whoa, whoa, feelings!" I don't think dogs, rats, and pigs have "feelings" the way humans do. I know my dogs are happy when I come home but that's because they associate me with belly-rubs and morsels from the dinner table. I don't think it's because of a "feeling" or emotional attachement the way my wife and kids do when I come home.

Animals are not people. Once these lame-brained PETA freaks understand that then there will be less contention between people who eat BBQ on the weekend and those who break into pet stores and free the bunnies on their weekends.

(Besides...the bunnies that get freed just provide easy prey for coyotes and foxes...yeah...it's part of the food chain but we don't want them coyotes and foxes to become dependant on man now do we??? Hmmm???)

Eric

On The Music Front...

From T-Bone Burnett...Comedy: Redefined.

“Comedy is all that’s left for us now in the West because tragedy demands conscience, regret, repentance and things like that. We don’t have that any more. We have ‘Kill ’em and let God sort ’em out.’ That’s nothing but raw comedy. One of the things I’ve learned from working in the theater is that events would take place that some people would laugh at and some people would gasp at. Some people would be horrified at the same thing that other people found amusing. It made me realize that there really isn’t a line between comedy and tragedy. Both things are happening at once in life at the same moment. Tragedy depends on whether or not you feel like there’s some redemption to be had from the moment. If you feel that, it’s tragedy. If you don’t, you perceive it as comedy.”

From this article... This Little Life of Crime

And the latest from Phil Keaggy on just what the hell is CCM??

The world we live in today has a bizarre genre called CCM.
Phil Keaggy

What frustrates you most about that label?

Keaggy: I'm not sure it's contemporary and I'm not sure it's really Christian. I mean, what I was doing with Larry Norman and Randy Stonehill and 2nd Chapter of Acts [in the 1970s], that was pre-CCM. They had to put some sort of label on it, and I think that ultimately hurt us. It pigeonholed everybody.

Phil Keaggy Interview

Eric