Monday, August 06, 2007

Daily Calendars

Every year I get a daily calendar. The kind where you can read something pithy, interesting, educational or funny. At work, we have one that deals with survival. Like if you're attacked by a heard of elephants or are submerged in a car or maybe caught in an avalanche. It also gives you tips on how to make tourniquets, slings, pine needle soup and other such stuff one might need should one find themselves lost in the woods out of cell phone range.

But this last weekends tip takes the cake.

"How to Foil a UFO Abduction"

Here they are...

1. Control your thoughts.
Do not think of anything violent or upsetting - the extraterrestrial biological entity (EBE) may have the ability to read your mind.

2. Resist verbally.
Firmly tell the EBE to leave you alone.

3. Resist mentally.
Picture yourself enveloped in a protective shield of white light, or in a safe place. Telepathic EBE's may get the message.

4. As a last resort, go for the EBE's eyes - you will not know what its other more sensitive areas are.

Someone has been listening to Art Bell too much...


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