As a fan of martial arts movies (especially the parody known as "Kung Pow: Legend of the Fist" by Steve Odekirk), I give you these...
POORLY TRANSLATED ENGLISH SUBTITLES FROM ASIAN MARTIAL ARTS MOVIES
• “Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.”
• “You always use violence. I should’ve ordered glutinous rice chicken.”
• “Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?”
• “That may disarray my intestines.”
• “I got knife scars more than the number of your leg’s hair!”
• “Yah-hah, evil spider woman! I have captured you by the short rabbits and can now deliver you violently to your doctor for a thorough extermination.”