Friday, July 14, 2006

Thoughts On 25 at 41

There's a young man over at The Boar's Head Tavern who lacks a bit of couth. He states, at age 25, that his "experience" has given him greater insight than most.

What a crock!

Just read some of his posts and you'll see that he is either a rather clever fella who enjoys pushing and knowing what buttons to push or he's just a pain in the arse who really hasn't grown up.

I can relate.

Looking back at 25 from the halfway point of 41 I can see I was a lot like this young man. I was recently married, progressing in my chosen profession, growing in my faith, working with youth and seeming to have arrived in some sort of fashion. If asked, I would humbly admit I had a lot to learn but my arrogance lie in the fact that secretly, I understood it all. At the ripe old age of 25.

What a crock!

Looking back I can see those who were in their 40's, sly grin on their faces because they knew, they just knew, I was full of shite.

I was arrogant, self-righteous, full of piss and wind and I wasn't afraid to do the Lord's work and call a spade a spade. I offended but didn't care. After all, if they couldn't handle a little offense then they had no business being in the marketplace of ideas. Compassion was sending money to the poor orphans overseas via World Vision or Christian Children's Fund. Compassion was telling the homeless guy to get a job then buying him a Big Mac. Compassion was telling the homosexual he's receive his reward for his behaviour.

What a crock!

I probably did more harm to the cause of Christ, more harm to my family, more harm to my friends between 25 and 35 than I realize.

At 40, after failing miserably in my career twice, after two near neravous breakdowns, after relying on God then going my own way once things were hunky-dory, I see that I was a fool. Not even a fool for Christ. Just a plain, old fool. It wasn't my great apologetic abilities. It wasn't my insight into nuanced situations. It wasn't my "core beliefs" and "christian worldview". No, it was something I'd forgotten from day one. It is the Gospel of Christ. I completely screwed up telling about the one thing in the universe that means more than anyone's theology. The Gospel of Christ.

And to be honest, I am such a weenie when it comes to looking like a hypocrit, I hide my faith behind a translucent wall of wishy-washyness!

I guess I should live what I believe....



Kari said...

Hey Eric,
I am so glad I found your blog again! I got a new computer a few months ago and I am still rebuilding my saved websites. So i am catching up today on all that I have missed on your blog.

As I am ending my year of being 25, Thanks for the reminder!

Eric said...

Don't worry about 25...or 26...or 27 Kari...from what I've seen of you since age 17, you are far more well-rounded than I was at 17...or 25, 26, 27....

It's a matter of perspective. Things look different at 25 than they do at 17 than they do at 41.

Keep the faith...I know...a quaint saying but it's the truth...something I've known since 17!