Slow Down....

I've heard this all my life. Being ADHD this is one of my biggest problems. Slowing down and taking a hard look at things.

Like paperwork.

I'm usually pretty good with paperwork. Get it down. Get it down quickly. Usually get it done accurately. If it's inaccurate, it's because I went too fast.

My job has a lot of paperwork. Paperwork I'm still getting used to. I'm supposed to double check all the paperwork before it goes back to the MotherShip. I usually do a cursory glance to see if anything jumps out, counting on the other pilots to be professional enough to catch their own mistakes.

Three pieces of paperwork got through to the MotherShip; two with small errors and one really big one. The really big one wasn't all my fault nor the other pilots fault. Most of it lies with Dispatch and us being newbies. The other two was me being too fast in my cursory perusal.

Then the phone call. The veiled threat. The chastisement. The promise to do better. The berating myself for being "stupid, stupid, stupid" because I went too fast.

I've been on this job, in a supervisory position, since November. I had hoped by January I'd have most of the lumps and wrinkles ironed out. Nope. Learning curve is still there. Can only hand on the FNG label for a little while longer.

I'm hoping by Feb 1 I'll have the basics down. Am I too hard on myself expecting to have it down in only 2 months? I really want to make a good impression with this company. I really want them to not second-guess their choice in me as pilot and Lead Pilot. A position I reluctantly agreed to for the good of the company. A management-type position I didn't think I was ready to take again. But it came along and I took it and I'm here so I'll do my best. Somebody, somewhere (Yes...I'm talking about God!) thought I was ready.

What I want and what I get are two different things. When will I learn this??

God only knows....

Eric